


While Rome Burned

by Princeps_Civitatis



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Banned from FGO Subreddit, FGO metajokes, Humour, Other, Parody, Salt incoming, Some trash poem I wrote while waiting for the Nero Fest maintenance to end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 20:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princeps_Civitatis/pseuds/Princeps_Civitatis
Summary: Nero Fest is Coming~A poem about server maintenance.





	While Rome Burned

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing a poem, don't expect quality.

Nero Fest is Coming~  
Umu! This is the greatest festival ever!  
O Brave Warriors, charge ye Phones and bite ye Apples  
Time to Grind!

  
Nero Fest is Coming~  
Umu! I am in the rate-up banner!  
O Enterprising Gamblers, ‘tis time to part with ye Quartz  
For an endless field of Salt mines!  
Umu! These Salt are the Wealth of my Empire, the Salary for my Soldiers!

  
Nero Fest is Coming~  
Umu! I am performing with Lizzie!  
O Resourceful Planners, be sure to farm for Joint Recital  
Buster-Crit is Love, Buster-Crit is Life  
The perfect Craft Essence for your (non-existent) Jeanne Alter!

  
Nero Fest is Coming~  
Umu! Unlimited Lottery for my dear Praetors!  
O Resilient Farmers, ‘tis Lottery is thy ticket out of Hell  
EXP Hell  
QP Hell  
Mat Hell  
Crunch ye Apples and roll the Lottery  
For Apple giveth

  
Nero Fest is Coming~  
Umu! A three hour maintenance will be over in a blink of an eye!  
And Apple taketh

  
Yorokobe shounen, it seems the maintenance has been extended!  
The maintenance which began at 09-12 PDT 21:00 PDT has been extended.  
We will update the official site with the planned end time once it has been determined.

  
Nero Fest is Coming~  
Umu! AUTHENTIC JAPANESE EXPERIENCE!  
Urghh, all my saved up AP is wasted!  
What did I stay up late for? Says an American.  
Apples Please  
No, we better get some apologems!  
Nah, they will give us apolo-fragments  
You mean three-star Fou cards?  
No, one-star Fou cards  
One Dragon Fang  
Or One Proof of Hero  
One Blue Rider Gem, shounen.

  
Nero Fest is Coming (soon)~  
Azur Lane has finished its maintenance.  
Quick, pray to Jesus that our maintenance ends soon.  
No, you see what happened to them Christian fellas? Nero burned ‘em!  
Then let’s pray to our lord and savior, RNGesus  
Shounen, I am not in charge of maintenance

  
Nero Fest is Coming (eventually)~  
(Updated on 09-13 05:00 PDT)  
At this time, we are still unable to confirm that the updated iOS version of “Fate/Grand Order” is available from the App Store. We would like to inform our users that we will be extending the maintenance beginning at 09-12 21:00 PDT until 09-13 08:00 PDT.  
If the situation has not changed after 08:00 PDT, we will update again with further information.  
Hey guys, what…what if this is all a ploy to punish us for not hitting the social media goal?  
Curse you Albert!  
FGO NA is screwing us over again!  
This is why I refuse to spend a single dime on this game  
They took our quartz from the anniversary, and now they take our time to grind!?  
How much have you taken from us, FGO NA?  
How many breads have you eaten in your life?  
Guys, I think this is Apple’s fault, the app won’t show up on the app store  
Damn it why are they punishing Android players too?  
NA server sucks!  
Join the JP train guys  
But I can’t read moonrunes  
No thanks, I prefer to be able to understand the stories  
Damn it you NA players are some whiny entitled brat, do you lot know back in the old days we need four quartz per roll!? FOUR quartz!  
Why the hell are you white-knighting Delight Works man? They screw us over! We are rightfully indignant for what we are being deprived of!

  
Nero Fest is Coming (someday)~  
Umu! My dear Praetors, you are Rome to me!  
ROMA!!  
The player base is Dissatisfied and Fractured  
The Flames of Anger are heating up  
Rome is on Fire!  
Umu! I shall play some music to sooth your hearts!  
So Nero Played her Fiddle  
While Rome Burned

**Author's Note:**

> At the time of publishing, the server maintenance is not yet over and has been going on in excess of 10 hours.


End file.
